Doin’ hard time.
I know Steve is really talented with his shield and is like an expert with it
but just imagine him smacking it in his face
or tripping over it
or waking up in the middle of the night and he shuffles off to the bathroom only to step on the edge of the shield and it smacks him in the shin and he curses loudly enough to wake up the other Howling Commandos who just sit up and start laughing at the way Steve is holding onto his leg and swearing
Seriously, though, super-soldier or not, watching Steve learn to use his shield must’ve been A+ comedy!
Steve throws it at some HYDRA goons but misses them by a mile and it bounces off a wall and flies out through a window, and Steve is just standing there, whoops, while Bucky rolls his eyes, takes out the enemies with his rifle, and jogs back outside to fetch the shield.
Steve hasn’t learnt the ctrl+c to crouch move yet; he holds the shield in front of his face and a HYDRA sniper shoots him in the thigh. Bucky facepalms because Steve you idiot, the shield only protects the bits of you actually behind it. Eventually, Steve masters the art of hiding his entire body behind the shield, tortoise-style, by ducking and having Bucky chuck pebbles at whatever parts of him are sticking out - of course Bucky has a wicked good aim and an even more wicked sense of humour, and Steve ends up with some rather embarrassing bruises.
The Commandos are on a stealth mission to infiltrate a secret HYDRA base, except the shield slips, falls, and does that rolling-metal-lid-dropped-on-the-ground sound like clang!!-grooiinnng-rooiinng-ooiinnnng-rnnnng-rrnng-rrnng-rrnng until Steve puts his foot on it. Everyone stops and just stares at him.
Also, my personal headcanon is that Steve once bet the shield in a hand of poker and Bucky won it. So it’s actually been Bucky’s shield since October 1944, Steve’s just borrowing it.
THIS ONE TIME A KID IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD WAS LATE GETTING HOME BECAUSE HE WAS BUYING DRUGS SO HE TOLD HIS MOM HE GOT KIDNAPPED AND SHE MADE HIM REPORT IT TO THE POLICE AND HE DESCRIBED THE KIDNAPPER AS COUNT OLAF AND THEN THIS HAPPENED
2005 Smart ForFour Style “Cool & Cosy”
“teenagers skip breakfast because they think it will help them lose weight” ACTUALLY NO THATS BULLSHIT TEENAGERS SKIP BREAKFAST SO THEY CAN MAKE IT TO SCHOOL ON TIME WITHOUT WAKING UP AT 4 IN THE MORNING
imagine reading a book of all the lies you’ve told
IDK what kind of lives you all are leading, but this sounds like the boringest shit. “Yes I sent that email.” “Yeah, I like your outfit.” “I was sick.” “My mom said no” “No I wasn’t crying.” “Yes I read the Terms of Service”
what about a book of all the lies people have told you
Oh how the tables have tabled
when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank
they’re married now
when two of ur friends are closer to each other than they are to u
I really like u but you are an ocean and I’m just a more impressive ocean with cooler and stronger sharks
THIS IS SO WELL DONE IT SCARED ME
women in scifi alien species:
How funny would this scene have been if Sosuke and Rin didn’t know each other before hand?
Like this new guy just waltzes into the classroom and looks at Rin like ‘damn, you fine’.
And Rin doesn’t even know what the fuck is going on.